The Analytical Engine

The official blog of Erik Mona. Editor. Author. Diet Dr. Pepper Addict.

Name: Erik Mona
Location: Ballard, Washington, United States

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Deep Throat on the Bush Administration

"On evenings such as these, Deep Throat had talked about how politics had infiltrated every corner of government -- a strong-arm takeover of the agencies by the Nixon White House. . . . He had once called it the 'switchblade mentality' -- and had referred to the willingness of the president's men to fight dirty and for keeps. . . ."

From today's Washington Post, which broke the Watergate story in 1974.

Bottle City for Sale



The famous "Bottle City" level of Castle Greyhawk, the first ever Dungeons & Dragons adventure, is now available on Ebay. Just looking at the map gets me drooling. $800 is a little steep, but if I was the kind of guy who could wipe his ass with $20 bills, it wouldn't be daunting in the least.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Dee & Dee


Thinking about all this D&D history reminded me that my favorite first edition artist, Jeff Dee, is also probably my favorite D&D artist of all time.

I once contacted Jeff about doing illustrations for Polyhedron, when I was running that magazine in 2001. Jeff replied that he'd be interested in working for the magazine, but said something to the effect of "just don't make me draw guys with weird helmets and bellbottoms."

Since that was precisely what I was looking for, I decided to go another route, but I still like to imagine working with Jeff on something some day.

Here are a few of my favorite pieces from the site linked above. Click the link to get larger versions, and enjoy a look back at some of the imagery that made Dungeons & Dragons the success that it is today.


Rufus & Burne, from The Village of Hommlet

Cyclops, from Fiend Folio

Gruumsh One-Eye, from Deities & Demigods

Odin, from Deities & Demigods

Mindflayer attacks, from Expedition to the Barrier Peaks

Ghouls attack, from The Village of Hommlet

Speaking of D&D History

Readers interested in the early history of the Dungeons & Dragons game might enjoy this thread, from the message boards of Robert J. Kuntz, the primary player in Gary Gygax's original Greyhawk campaign.

Kuntz's "Lost City of the Elders" figures into the "Maure Castle" mythology, and is also a centerpiece of Rob's "World of Kalibruhn" fantasy milieu.

Rob's pulp sensibilities make him one of my favorite D&D designers, and the quoted material in this thread strikes me as particularly imaginative and rich.

And while I'm at it, here's a fantastic site about the "original" version of the World of Greyhawk, which is to say the setting as seen through the eyes of Gary Gygax and Robert J. Kuntz, who can rightfully be said to have created it.

"It's a Dungeons & Dragons ride!"


Some time around 1983, my twin loves of action figures and Dungeons & Dragons met in unholy matrimony in the form of a toy line from LJN. I only ever managed to get about a half-dozen of these (I thought some of them looked pretty stupid even in the primitive age of action figures), but the ones I did get were some of my favorites.



Notably, Warduke is a personal favorite, as should be clear by looking at the cover of Dungeon #105, which I comissioned along with my friend and colleague Sean Glenn. The image was painted by Wayne Reynolds, one of our favorite artists.



In any event, I was poking around the web doing some research a few days ago, and I came across an interesting site on the old D&D toys. It turns out there were a lot more toys than I'd imagined, and even a few unproduced gems that I'd never seen before.

All in all a fun diversion.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Orson Scott Card: Dumbass

Orson Scott Card, the science fiction author famous for weaving Mormon ideology into books like "Enders Game," has something to say about the new Star Wars movie. Here's a taste:
"It’s one thing to put your faith in a religion founded by a real person who claimed divine revelation, but it’s something else entirely to have, as the scripture of your religion, a storyline that you know was made up by a very nonprophetic human being."
To be clear, the "real person" to whom Orson Scott Card refers is Joseph Smith, who famously transcribed the "Book of Mormon" by magically reading it out of the bottom of a hat.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

This is Why They Hate Us

Some of the same M.P.'s took a particular interest in an emotionally disturbed Afghan detainee who was known to eat his feces and mutilate himself with concertina wire. The soldiers kneed the man repeatedly in the legs and, at one point, chained him with his arms straight up in the air, Specialist Callaway told investigators. They also nicknamed him "Timmy," after a disabled child in the animated television series "South Park." One of the guards who beat the prisoner also taught him to screech like the cartoon character, Specialist Callaway said.
From today's New York Times

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Age of Worms Character Background 3: Dram Cicaeda



Dram Cicaeda (Kyle Hunter)
Male Human Scout

Life in Diamond Lake’s garrison seemed interesting to you as a child, when the soldiers seemed strong and brave and the world was filled with adventure. Now that you’re getting a little older, you look at the village like a squalid smudge on a map. Sure, it can be exciting from time to time, but lately you’ve found yourself making up reasons to leave.

Your father came to the garrison when you were only 2 years old, after a falling out with the Cartographer’s Guild in the city of Greyhawk. He never speaks about the affair, and has discouraged you from ever visiting the metropolis of wizards and thieves for as long as you can remember.

Although he is a civilian, his offices are housed within the garrison because the scheming, manipulative mining managers are extremely territorial; outright conflicts between them over who owns which parcels of local land have exploded in number over the last decade, and it’s all your father can do to stay on top of the issue. He is a well respected man in town, for to cross Cicaeda the Cartographer is to bring down the wrath of Garrison Commander Tolliver Trask, Governor-Mayor Lanod Neff, and possibly even more powerful allies in the City of Greyhawk.

For the last several years, you’ve been passing your time training to be a scout with Merris Sandovar, the garrison’s chief scout. He views you as a promising student, but you secretly wonder if you’re not actually better at scouting than he is. You’re certainly faster.

Last week, you ran into a mysterious, alluring human woman you once drank with over two years ago. You didn’t even remember her name, but she seemed to remember everything about you, including the fact that your father was the village’s chief cartographer. She once again introduced herself as Tyralandi Scrimm, and her story provided you with the perfect opportunity to make your life more interesting—and possibly fill your pockets as well.

Rumors around Diamond Lake speak of a trio of adventurers from Greyhawk. They’ve been spending a lot of time in the village’s watering holes, proclaiming to all their intention to explore an ancient tomb on the lake’s northeast shore called the Stirgenest Cairn. Tyralandi assures you that their plan will fail, since she’s been to the Stirgenest Cairn and found it raped of its treasures centuries ago, just like all of the other empty tombs in the Cairn Hills.

But Tyralandi seems convinced that at least one of the local cairns has not been explored in recent times, and might yet contain fabulous treasures. You agreed to look through your father’s maps, and you’re now certain that she may be right.

A 70-year old map, drawn in the shaky hand of your father’s predecessor, marks a tomb labeled “Whispering Cairn” on a map of a small parcel of land about an hour from the village. According to some other records found in your father’s office, the mine about a mile from the cairn ran dry some 50 years ago, and the land was abandoned by its owner, a mine manager named Ulgo Fant who died a pauper some 10 years ago, leaving no heirs. As far as you can tell, that means the area is a sort of no-man’s land, so it shouldn’t be any trouble to sneak in and explore the cairn.

Tyralandi asked you to assemble a small group of like-minded explorers who might be interested in exploring the cairn, and who could be relied upon for discretion. You’ve invited three acquaintances: Abelard Volker, a soft-spoken young warrior from the garrison’s chapel of Heironeous, god of honor; DaeJin Moon, a half-elf ranger friend of Merris Sandovar from his woodsman days; and Gar Blitzhame, your favorite dwarven drinking partner. As you understand it, some of them have invited friends of their own. That probably won’t thrill Tyralandi, but that’s her problem, not yours.

The final meeting is set for this morning, at an abandoned outbuilding near Ulgo Fant’s tapped-out mine. There you’ll meet your new companions and set out for a life of excitement and adventure.

--Erik Mona
Image by Kyle Hunter.

Things I've Done Since My Last Blog Post

1. Turned 30
2. Saw an all-female AC/DC cover band.
2. Finished a 40,000-word writing project for Dungeon magazine.
3. Flew to Minnesota to celebrate my birthday with family and friends from home.
4. Finished a top-secret small freelance project for Wizards of the Coast.
5. Moved my computer into my back room office.
6. Unpacked the last couple of boxes from my September move.
7. Shipped Dungeon 124 and Dragon 333 to the printer.
8. Cancelled HBO.
9. Uploaded 2,600 songs (and counting) to my iPod.
10. Started posting again to the Protonik & the rest thread on the Mutants & Masterminds message boards.
11. Started designing an original sword & sorcery world.

So, you know, I've been busy.