Photo Finish

Hurm.

About three and a half hours.

I'm slipping in my old age.

This won't do.

Time Trials

Less analysis, more engine.

Too much time spent watching Carnivale reruns when I should have been working.

Let's see how long 2000 words takes.

Starting. . .

Now.

Ancient Cultures of Eastern Oerik

I can’t quite explain why, but I’m suddenly taken with intense interest in the ancient history of the World of Greyhawk. I think I’ve a mind to do some whole cloth development of regions beyond the Flanaess, such as the realms along the western shore of the Drawmij and the fabled lands beyond the Sea of Dust. Before I can get to that, I want to have a solid conceptual grasp of the prehistoric Flanaess, which is to say the period ending with the Twin Cataclysms and beginning with, well, the beginning.

I’m tired of not having a good idea how cavemen fit in with the rise of human culture, of where the wars hinted at in the original kuo-toa description might have taken place. I want at least a general idea of where Vecna’s Empire extended, how it worked, and when it happened. I want to imagine a world filled with aboleths and elves and dwarves and dragons, if only to better detail lost ruins and ancient treasures.

I’m not out to define every little detail of every little empire, kingdom, or race. I just want a general framework on which to base future design. This isn’t official development, but rather one Greyhawk DM “thinking out loud” in a community of online Greyhawk fans.

Here are some of the puzzle pieces.

The Wind Dukes of Aqaa (“Pre-History”)
“Rod of Seven Parts: The Wind Dukes of Aqaa are the legendary creators of this artifact. It is said that they constructed the Rod to use in the great battle of Pesh where Chaos and Law contended. There, the Rod was shattered, and its parts scattered, but the enchantments of the item were such that nothing could actually destroy it, so if its sections are recovered and put together in the correct order, the possessor will wield a weapon of surpassing power.” (1st Edition Dungeon Master’s Guide, p. 160)
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“Rumor tells of a magical cataclysm or the falling of a great rock from the sky many centuries past, which created this great basin, but the origins of [Lake Aqal’s] many islands are quite unknown. … Some of the lake’s islands are likewise said to have been home to a group of very seclusive and ancient wizards as powerful as the Wind Dukes of Aqaa or the Glittering Wizards of the Isles of Woe in Oerth’s prehistory.” (Iuz the Evil, p. 60)
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“Aeons ago, in the Age of Legends, a great war arose between Law and Chaos. The roots of the conflict are obscure, shrouded in the mists of antiquity. … The guardians of Law were the Wind Dukes of Aqaa, scions of an empire already ancient at the war’s beginning. … [The Captains of Law] combined their powers to create a weapon that could slay Miska and strike fear into the hearts of the minions of Chaos. The weapon the heroes forged was a tapered rod of black metal, not quite as tall as a man. … When the Rod was completed, the seven champions rejoined the conflict at the battle of Pesh, on the world of Oerth.” (The Rod of Seven Parts: Might and Menace, p. 2)
.
“The Vaati (VAH tee), or Wind Dukes, are a race of immortals dedicated to Law. … Aeons ago, the vaati ruled a vast empire spread out over several worlds on the Prime Material Plane, with footholds throughout the planes. When war between Law and Chaos erupted, the vaati were nearly annihilated. They survived only by creating the Rod of Seven Parts and using it to end the war.” (The Rod of Seven Parts Book IV: Monsters, p. 13)

Druids of the Elder Age (Pre-History)
“Three hundred years after leaving Tostenhca [c. 1409 BCY], Keraptis learned of a great volcano called White Plume Mountain, in which the still-living druids of the Elder Age guarded the secrets of immortality.” (Return to White Plume Mountain, p. 3)

Nerull’s Bane Culture (Pre-History)
“The Flan people of the northern lands never advanced much in the way of civilization. This once-proud city was the creation of a much older race than the Flannae, an unknown people who vanished long before the bronzed ancestors of the Rovers fearfully approached this place.” (Iuz the Evil, p. 60)

The Sinking Isle Culture (Before 4463 BCY)
“The Sinking Isle has haunted the waters near the Isles of the Sea Barons from time immemorial. The earliest Oeridian tribes to fish the Solnor there knew of it; the Flan before them had legends of it; the seagoing elves of Lendore Isle have tales even more ancient. Neither our own civilization nor even that of the Elvenfolk was the first in the Flanaess; there were others in times so far past that the very shape of the lands has since changed. The Sinking Isle is a reminder of them.”
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“In the short time before the island sank once again beneath the waves, Atirr and his fellows were able to recover and record information about a great many artifacts from among the spiky and highly decorated ruins. Among these were many panes of fine stained glass, some still intact, and some in tints never yet achieved by modern artists. Besides these were a number of twisted ornaments of gold and lead, later discovered to have been of sahuagin manufacture. Atirr also discovered a book sealed against the water in a lead casket.”
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“He declared the book in particular to be the most interesting, being among other things a recording in a lost language of ‘an ancient history together with magical secrets.’”
.
“It is known that Atirr was convinced from a preliminary study that the city itself was not primarily of sahuagin manufacture but must have been built by a terrestrial race, though sahuagin-like creatures and other sea life are depicted frequently in the architecture.”
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“The city is not of sahuagin manufacture, but it would not be amiss to suggest that the builders were the once-human ancestors of the sahuagin themselves. They were in any case an evil race towards the end. The ruins are reminiscent of Gothic architecture, with much decoration and many high pointed arches.” (Greyhawk Adventures, p. 93)

Doomgrinder Culture (Before 7408 BCY)
“Perhaps eight thousand years ago, a people now forgotten built a massive juggernaut. It was a moving fortress, a war machine built to lay waste to everything in its path, and they sent it against their no longer remembered foe, crushing towns and reducing even the mightiest fortifications to rubble; for the war was not about conquering, but about destroying the enemy.” (Doomgrinder, p. 2)

Galap-Dreidel’s Folk (Pre-Migrations)
“Know you that in the elder days before the Invoked Devastation and Rain of Colorless Fire [422 BCY], when the ancient peaks of the Abbor-Alz still thrust skyward sharp and majestic and the Flan tribesmen were but newcomers to the land, there existed between the Bright Desert and the mouth of the river Selintan a great fortress called Inverness. The walls of this castle were said to be proof against enemies and all things magical and natural. Know you also that here was said to dwell the great wizard Galap-Dreidel at the height of his power and glory, and that he did lift Castle Inverness from the very foundation of rock upon which it rested. … But despite his great power there came a time that Galap-Dreidel did leave on a journey northwest, over the river Selintan, and did not return. At this time there came a great multitude of superstitious peoples from surrounding lands who laid siege to the castle and threw down the great tower.” (Ghost Tower of Inverness, p. 2)

The Cairn Builders (Before 4463 BCY)
“In the hinterland below Nyr Dyv’s Midbay, where the hills are very rugged, there have been strange burial sites discovered from time to time. There rich finds are of a people unknown even to the demi-humans, evidently predating them! Discoverers returned with harrowing tales of horrid guardians, death, and worse, but carried back ingots of precious metal, gems, and other treasures as well. The discovery of these burial sites gave the hills their name, and also makes them a target for many foolhardy adventurers.” (World of Greyhawk Campaign Setting, p. 48)
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“The cairns are of many types, obviously the work of people from many different cultural backgrounds. Some are pyramid shaped. These have usually been plundered, since their aboveground shape provides an obvious clue to their locations. Others are ritual barrow mounds and burial mounts, far harder to identify. Still others are aboveground tombs and catacombs, excavated from the rocky hills or utilizing natural cave formations.”
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“One, allegedly discovered long ago but since then its location has again become a mystery, is reputed to be a long, metal cylinder. Its surface is a type of steel far superior to any known on the Flanaess, and it is filled with a variety of deadly traps that can confound the most astute of thieves and defeat the most diligent of magical detections. … Legends claim that this is a cairn of the gods, descended from the stars to reward the people of Oerth. … No one knows the origin of any of these cairns, but they all predate the influx of known civilization into the region.”
.
“The floors, though now littered with dust and rubble, can be cleared to show intricate mosaic patterns displaying, in tiny, brightly colored tiles, scenes of brilliantly plumed birds, riotous flowers, fields awash in butterflies, and colorful settings.” (Ibid.)
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“The multiroomed cairns generally have successive rooms, separated at one time by metal doors. These doors display high-quality metalwork, particularly in their locks and hinges, that far exceeds any current level of quality upon Oerth.”
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“Those who have seen cairns before their plundering tell of wondrous statues, sculpted from unimaginably huge pieces of ivory or glass, and paintings of a brilliance and detail far beyond the talents of any current artist. There are tales of golden boxes filled with diamonds and rubies, vials of expensive dyes, materials of a suppleness and strength unknown in the Flanaess.” (Ibid.)
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“Of course there are legends of other, even more mystical cairns in the hills.” (“Greyhawk: Gem of the Flanaess, p. 23–24)
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“The cairns were of many types, some so alien that sages mutter about people from other worlds creating them; some are pyramidal, others polyhedral and complex in design. Others were simpler, little more than barrow mounds. … From these cairns, famed and fabled adventurers of legend pillaged great wealth and unique magics. Great ingots of precious metal, rare superhard steels, planar tomes and traveling devices, and much else were brought back to the Free City, together with tales of hideous deaths and monstrous guardians. The treasures were as sought after as the origins of the cairns were unknown, surely earlier than recorded Oerth history.’ (From the Ashes Campaign Book, p. 21)

Known Cairns
The Choking City: “A cairn complex has been discovered that is virtually a necropolis, nearly a mile in length. Some of the buried city is comprised of tombs. Much of it, however, appears to be a normal city of people going about their business—but these people were at some point instantaneously petrified, so that they (and all they possessed) were turned to stone.” (From the Ashes Campaign Book, p. 31)
The Sarcophagus of the Red Mummy: (Greyhawk: Gem of the Flanaess, p. 24)
The Silver Metal Cairn: See above.
The Star Cairns :“The four cairns shown on the campaign map are 400 to 500 years old. Each is the burial site of a Suloise wizard.” (From the Ashes Campaign Book, p. 36)
The Stirgenest Cairn (Dungeon #124)
Tomb of Blood Everflowing (Dungeon #114)
Tomb of the Green Lady: “An outcast priest of Wee Jas named Nohrtan brought followers here to protect a cairn he believes is the final resting place of a powerful priestess of Wee Jas.” (Doomgrinder, p. 19)
The Whispering Cairn (Dungeon #124)

Canonical Eras of Human Influence
BCY Era	Culture
Pre-History	Wind Dukes of Aqaa, Druids of the Elder Age, Sinking Isle Culture, Nerull’s Bane Culture
7000	Doomgrinder Builders, Torhoon (Hepmonaland)
6000	Cairn Builders (?), Suel
5000	Elves (Celene, City of Summer Stars), Suel
4000	Elves (Celene, City of Summer Stars), Suel
3000	Bakluni, Elves (Celene, City of Summer Stars), Galap-Dreidel’s Folk (?), Suel
2000	Bakluni, Elves (Celene, City of Summer Stars), Flan (Durha, Itar, Rhugha, Ronhas, Sulm, Tostehnca, Truun), Suel
1000	Bakluni, Elves (Celene, City of Summer Stars), Flan (Necromancers of Trask), Oeridian (Johydee's Kingdom), Suel
0	Bakluni, Elves (Celene, City of Summer Stars), Flan (Ehlissa, Necromancers of Trask, Vecna’s Empire), Oeridian (Barony of Lum the Mad), Suel

And that’s just a start.

Thoughts?

Alone in the Dark

H.P. Lovecraft is surely one of the greatest American authors of the 20th Century. Unfortunately, films based on his work often miss one of the central themes of his tales—that sometimes the things you can't see are more terrifying than the things you can. Once you're looking at a deep one in the flesh, it's difficult not to think of it as a rubber suit from an old Dr. Who episode.

But this clip seems to capture the spirit perfectly.

I'm guessing it'll be better than Cthulhu Mansion.

Rendering Unto Caesar

You know that old commercial where the indian is standing on a pile of shit and garbage, and he sheds a tear for what's become of his beautiful country?

Tonight I am that indian.

10 Minutes Ago

“Live from Q13 Fox News. A local couple POISONED in their own home. The deadly mistake ANYONE could have made.”

“His X-rating has been X’ed out, but you haven’t seen the last of Seattle’s Porn King.”

“And, trapped in a local tree for TWO days! We’ll take you along for this kitten’s dramatic rescue.”

“Q13 Fox News is 20 minutes away!”

Highlights and Lowlifes

On Saturday I got together with Kyle to visit the Emerald City Comic Con. The show was held in the cavernous outer gallery of Qwest Field, Seattle's immense new professional football stadium. On the way in from the parking lot, I caught a peek through the stands that made the place look absolutely enormous. It must make for quite a sports venue.

But the inside is remarkable only in that it has not yet grown shoddy and encrusted with spilled beer and festering mold.

First things first. There's something to be said for goth women. Legions of them had come to see the guy behind "Invader Zim," and they lined the perimeter of the convention hall like a sassy snake surrounding its nest. Their black-eyelinered stares pierce me still.

The highlight of the show was meeting Roy Thomas, the editor of "Alter-Ego." Roy was very gracious, and was pleased to learn about his idol, Gardner Fox, publishing stories through "The Dragon" in the late 70s. He mentioned that he's considering writing a biography of Fox, which would certainly appear on my wishlist shortly after its solicitation. I'll be sending him copies of the stories for his files.

The dealer booths were pleasingly stocked with swag. I picked up some cool Katsuya Terada stationary from the fine folks at Dark Horse, and purchased a sweet sticker from Tara McPhearson. We also met and chatted with Robin Bougie, the demented genius behind "Cinema Sewer," a comic about ultra-obscure horror movies, 70s-80s porno, and cult TV. The issue I picked up contains a three-page hand-written essay about the infamous (and oft-referenced by me) Arnold on Dudley on Gordon Jump episode of TV's "Diff'rent Strokes."

Like I said, Robin Bougie is demented. It's probably needless to say that "Cinema Sewer" makes for fascinating reading.

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Tomorrow I venture from the womb of Ballard to the City Beyond the Bridge. Downer artist Kyle Hunter and I are off to the Emerald City Comic Con. I'm especially looking forward to meeting Roy Thomas, as his "Alter Ego" comics magazine is one of my favorites. His editorial style is an inspiration for my own work on Dungeon and Dragon, and his interest in DC's Golden Age of comics parallels my own. I'm interested to see if Roy knew that his idol, Justice Society of America creator Gardner Fox, published a number of short fantasy stories in Dragon magazine. Fox's character, Niall of the Far Travels, was a bare-chested adventurer of the Conan variety.

Three years ago, I went to the first Emerald City Comic Con with Sean. There I met Jim Mahfood, who had just finished a cover for me for Polyhedron. I also met Tony Harris at a local show, and eventually snagged him for a Polyhedron cover, too. He'll also be there tomorrow, and it will be fun to say hello.

Should be a good show.

Invocation

I invocate and conjure thee, oh Spirit, Ipos; and being with power armed from the SUPREME MAJESTY, I do strongly command thee, by BERALANENSIS, BALDACHIENSIS, PAUMACHIA, and APOLOGIAE SEDES; by the most Powerful Princes, Genii, Liachidae, and Ministers of the Tartarean Abode; and to the Chief Prince of the Seat of Apologia in the Ninth Legion, I do invoke thee, and by invocating conjure thee. And being armed with power from the SUPREME MAJESTY, I do strongly command thee, by Him Who spake and it was done, and unto whom all creatures be obedient. Also I, being made after the image of GOD, endured with power from GOD, and created according unto His will, do exorcise thee by that most mighty and powerful name of GOD, EL, strong and wonderful; O thou Spirit Ipos. And I command thee by Him who spake the Word and His Fiat was accomplished, and by all the names of GOD. Also by the names of ADONAI, EL, ELOHI, EHYEH ASHER EHYEH, ZABAOTH, ELION, IAH, TETRAGRAMMATON, SHADDAI, LORD GOD MOST HIGH, I do exorcise thee and do powerfully command thee, O thou Spirit Ipos, that thou dost forthwith appear unto me here before this Circle in a fair human shape, without any deformity or tortuosity. And by this ineffable name, TETRAGRAMMATON IEHOVAH, do I command thee, at the which being heard the elements are overthrown, the air is shaken, the sea runneth back, the fire is quenched, the earth trembleth, and all the hosts of the celestials, terrestrials, and infernals do tremble together, and are troubled and confounded. Wherefore come thou, O Spirit Ipos, forthwith, and without delay, from any or all parts of the world wherever thou mayest be, and make rational answers unto all things that I shall demand of thee. Come thou peaceably, visibly, and affably, now, and without delay, manifesting that which I shall desire. For thou are conjured by the name of the LIVING and TRUE GOD, HELIOREN, wherefore fulfil thou my commands, and persist though therein unto the end, and according unto mine interest, visibly and affably speaking unto me with a voice clear and intelligible without any ambiguity.

Welcome one and all.